Emotional/Physical Abuse…both just as damaging?

June 14, 2010

I believe they can be. If a child grows up being told they aren’t good enough, they’re “stupid”, as a teen and adult this will be what they believe of themselves. There are some who battle endlessly to prove their parents wrong yet with one fall it can feel like the parents are proved right then that stumble becomes a reason to not get back up again. They, to themselves become “worthless” just like they said, why would they say it if it wasn’t true?

Well they say it because they themselves have been hurt my their own upbringing. A child can’t fight back, so they become the next victim of what may have been a generation of emotionally damaging and neglectful behaviour that wasn’t corrected. Is it then up to the child to seek the help that’s needed so the actions aren’t repeated with their own children.

The difference with physical and emotional abuse is that the physical, if severe can be seen more clearly than any emotional effects. But they can be just as painful. Physical things are always taken more seriously that that which can’t be seen. This is the same for a mental ailment and a physical one. If someone cannot work because of a physical thing such as a broken leg or arm then that’s okay. If someone cannot work because they cannot control certain emotions and find concentration difficult without an angry outburst or crying then you get told “cheer up” “get over it”, I think this is wrong. Mental wellbeing can push you through any physical damage, with a broken leg you can still cope with day to day life. With emotional instability, every day can be painful and unwanted. Just because you can’t see a “mental illness” it does not give people to right to judge someone when they can’t cope with everyday life and say “we all have to do it”…just think some of us find it harder than others and we all may do it but the people who say that have ways of coping with “everyday” and have more control.

I’m not saying it’s better to be physically abused because it’s not, physical goes hand in hand with emotional. I just feel that emotional abuse can be overlooked because there aren’t bumps on bruises on the exterior.

How many times have you read about suicides over bullying? Sometimes it’s just over the internet. I have never understood “stick and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me”…it may make someone feel good to say that to themselves at an older age but as a child everything that is said to you shapes your thoughts as a young adult and adult. So I’d change it to “sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me when I’m a fully developed adult who has never been emotionally abused or neglected”. Although that’s even doubtful.

In conclusion I got carried away and forget my original point so make of it what you will…go tell someone you love them today 🙂 ❤

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