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Worries about dad

July 9, 2010

Since dad’s last breakdown this has been the first time he hasnt been able to get back to work and it makes me feel like if anything changes in his condition it will only be bad seeing as in all honesty he has given up. Something ive noticed lately is his coordination and reaction time, especially when driving, it feels unsafe in the car with him, constantly swerving to avoid other cars and going too fast most of the time. Having to say “dad, slow down!” or even “watch out!” is frightening but to tell dad’s nurse may mean he can’t drive anymore and this means he can’t go to football or speedway which if he couldn’t go to would cause his condition to worsen because they are his hobbies. I don’t know which is worse, letting him drive or not letting him drive. I don’t want to feel responsible. As nothing seems to be changing I feel i’m waiting for the next disaster and the next admission, I dont want to have to be without my dad again, it was bad enough as a kid but then I didn’t really understand then and now I do. I just want him to be okay but he doesn’t care.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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One comment

  1. It must be hard not really knowing what is going to happen with your dad. I know that sometimes my husband worries about me because I am fine for a while and then eating disorder or the bipolar come out in force and it takes me a while to get back on track. I often try and hide it at first but it usually gets too much to be able to hide. I tell you, it must be awful for him too. Especially when I am depressed and I start getting thoughts of some type of self harm. I think it's great you are sticking by your dad, but don't forget to look after you too!Sarah



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