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Dr L session 3.

October 13, 2010

I’ve taken to writing a list out of the things that bother me throughout each week due to terrible memory, I was worried about doing it because my last therapy would read my list and go hm and give it back but obviously Dr L works through it with me crossing out the smaller issues and focusing on the big problems and how they affected me: thought, feelings, behaviours, psychical sensations. Each session has been very different but all has been insightful, a bonus. But I still have that big wavering thought in my head. In 4 months she’ll be gone and she said that from the beginning we would try and keep focus on there being an end. I feel like I’m going to make progress and then as soon as I know it’s over I’ll turn into hating her for leaving me when I’m not better. I can’t get better in 5 months, we both know that, it’s an impossibility, I need years of therapy. And I want it to be with her, I trust her, she’s nice to me and she understands and works through things at a steady pace without getting annoyed. She said she was really proud of my coping this week and I had to stop myself from crying, she was really pleased with me and all I could focus on was my slip up. As I left she said once again how well I’d done and without thinking I scoffed, oops…

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4 comments

  1. I grew highly disdainful of C in the last few weeks of our time together, but that was because he had it in his power to extend the therapy, had a number of opportunities to fight my corner to his superiors and openly admitted I’d been let down – but still did sod all about it. Twat, it makes me furious even thinking about it.

    With Paul, I’m only seeing him for six months (as a charity, it’s the most they can provide), and although I know that’s far from enough, I’m not so worried about hating him because of it ending. I know that’s all he can offer (unlike C) and he’s been straight about it from the offset (unlike C).

    But that’s just me – I can totally understand why you are anxious about this. Five months’ on the NHS is frankly pathetic. But I really hope can make at least a little progress in that time – you seem encouraged so far – and maybe she can advise on a voluntary (or cheap private) sector therapist that she holds in decent regard that could continue the work? It may be worth exploring, but I know it’s not the same and they shouldn’t be putting you through this.

    Anyway, this was a o’er long and rather pointless comment…sorry 😦 Sending you hugs lovely ❀ xxx


    • No it wasn’t pointless at all I love your rants about C, I reckon it’s good for you πŸ˜‰ xxx


  2. I love you darling, have my children please πŸ˜€ x



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