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Completely Irrelevant: Young Marriage.

November 14, 2010

I have been reading up on young marriage and will go no further. There seems to be such negative views, it’s all about not being mature but surely society would love to see more mature young people and if they are mature enough for marriage this is surely a positive? Otherwise why would the age limit be 18 without consent?

There are so many teen pregnancies, would society not prefer if there were more young people willing to make secure homes for themselves instead of getting drunk or taking drugs and becoming promiscious? People underestimate those young people who have had to grow up faster than their peers. I had to start caring for myself at the age of 6 and had to start growing up then, I am 18 and still look after my parents, I may be unwell but I know that I am mature beyond my age and have learnt how to look after myself and adults (my parens) from a young age. There seems to be no problem with teenagers getting married when either of them are joining the army, it seems the “norm”. I was in the mormon church and the couples got married when the man was 21 and back from a mission. They raised families and were very capable and secure. There are so many worse things people could be fighting, why fight love? I remember at 16 joking to my boyfriend about my wedding dress and our kids names and we’ve shown how much we can struggle through together, he stuck with me through threatened suicide attempts and his own depression and my BPD and we’re still managing. Some young people have suffered so much that they HAVE to be strong, they grow up before others and have a higher maturity level.

Some teenagers are generally just more mature and responsible people. I know that the majority probably aren’t in this category but to make a decision as big as marriage requires maturity and commitment and those who do choose to get married shouldn’t be thwarted. If the marriage breaks down then it breaks down but it doens’t have to be due to age, it can be due to any reason a relationship breaks down. Obviously there are going to be some marriages that do break down due to age but why does that have to be all?

I’ve wanted to be in love and get married since I can remember. At 12, I saw it as big dresses, eternal happiness. At 14, a commitment of love that was exciting and beautiful. At 16, I saw marriage as a commitment that can be held together with love. At 18, I see marriage as a difficult commitment that requires hard work and love that brings two people together to create a family in a secure environment.

All of these negative comments triggered such depression in me, I saw people writing that 30 is the best age and I thought “What!! I want 2 kids by then!” everyone is different, everyone wants different things. I want love and a happy family and I want a family in my 20’s.

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