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“You can’t share.”

December 6, 2010

It’s a fact, I can’t. But I’m not talking about possessions, I’m talking about people. I can share SOME people but to be able to do that I have to disconnect emotionally from them and reconnect when they are “mine” again. I can do this with most friends. But I’m sure you can guess, the one I can’t bear to emotionally disconnect from.

J says I can’t share him, well no I can’t. Don’t see why I should find it easy to share him, I am in love with the poor bugger and emotionally screwed up. Of course I will cling for dear life to the only person who I feel have truely deeply and emotionally loved me in spite of everything. I’m not going to let him run off with other people am I?  I know I need to somehow through my CBT be able to feel more comfortable about it but it’s yet to be worked on and as I have about 3 months left I doubt, unless it was the only topic discussed, it’ll work out all nice and I’m able to share him with the world. No chance.

He always say it’s because I’m an only child but it’s not, it’s because I terrified of losing him to other people. I’m scared that he’ll enjoy their company more than mine and then leave me, realising how terribly boring I am in comparison. I become so upset and distressed and angry. Mostly angry. Really angry. &*%^$%$£^£&£*&$*$*$$!”$%^&$YRTFG. Like that 😀

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One comment

  1. […] of a Maybe Borderline discusses sharing. J says I can’t share him, well no I can’t. Don’t see why I should find it easy to share him, […]



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