h1

It’s not acceptable.

December 24, 2010

I know you probably still read this blog after blocking
communication with me, you got mad at me and blocked me online and
I felt so relieved. You had no right to get mad at me, you made me
uncomfortable, I am over 30 years younger than you and you would
say things that were damn right innapropriate, you would say you
loved me and that I was beautiful and it made me so anxious.
Basically, It’s really creepy for an older man to say these things
to someone who is 18. I know you make other people nervous too, you
need to set some boundaries, you shouls tell your wife you love her
but not young girls, especially not me and my best friend. You made
J nervous too, he didnt know you well and you were saying you loved
me. You actually argued with J and it basically ended up as an
argument over me! What is wrong with you? You don’t argue over
someones girlfriend! I’m too scared to make new friendships now
because I’m worried that they may try and be too close to me, that
they might become creepy and make me so uncomfortable. I hate
myself for letting it get that far but I’ve never learnt how to set
boundaries and the only way I knew was to keep ignoring you unto
you left me alone because you got mad. Maybe one day you’ll learn
some boundaries. I wish others would tell you though because
they’ve sure told me. I am terrified of you. Utterly terrified. My
social anxiety has amplified. You said that you had another friend
with BPD and that she didnt want to see you anymore. You blamed her
BPD but no it is you, you are clingy, I know you may still blame
the illness but as I said I know people who have told me you scare
them too. Dont send me another card or any texts. Delete my number.
Your card arrived and I started shaking, get away from me. Maybe
one day I can have friends again without having to worry they will
be inappropriately close to me.

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2 comments

  1. I don’t know the full story obviously but from my experience people who know about BPD can find young sufferers to be easy targets. Young borderlines are much more likely to develop crushes and strong feelings for any guy but often older guys who appear stable and fatherly. I had to watch out for my girlfriend as she is a 23 year old BPD sufferer and I’m a 46 year old, but maybe mentally we are quite well matched.

    You are setting boundaries for yourself and that is healthy, and making sure this guy is aware is a sign of personal strength not often found in teenagers. Don’t think badly of yourself as you appear to have the ability to recognise things that are wrong and you should keep setting these boundaries for other people in your life.

    I would suggest that his behaviour shows his own difficulties in relating, it’s very BPD in itself. Be strong and defend your boundaries!

    Mart.


  2. I was basically going to say what Mart said. I know from looking back at some experiences I had that were similar to this….it was because they thought that it was okay. They didn’t realize what they were doing and I didn’t have the guts to tell them they were making me uncomfortable. From the way it sounds…this ‘older’ man had an inappropriate crush on you and took advantage of the fact that you have BPD and figured he could manipulate you. From what it sounds like, from what you wrote, he has a bad habit of this. I hope speaking out helped relieve some anxiety for you and hope he got the hint once and for all and leaves you alone. God Bless you!



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