h1

Anonymity.

November 5, 2011

I’m starting to hate being anonymous. It is easier to write anonymous because It means it protects my family but at the same time I want the praise I get for my blog to go to me not to my pseudonym. I started a personal blog and no one cared. I’m the same person but people seem to care more about me if I’m mental. What about me, the human being? Everyone can relate to being a human so why doesn’t anyone read that blog compared to  the readers here. People love the drama and extremeness of mental illness so much more. I want to be appreciated as a non mental too because if I’m appreciate more as a mental it means I’m going to be more likely to not want to recover. I want to write a mental blog as me, it just means It will be more restricted in what I write but at least I will be appreciated and praised as me and people will know who I am. I don’t know whether to forget this blog and write a new one as myself with restrictions or carry this one on and AND start a new one and write what I can’t write on the other one here. It just means I may still be looking at both blogs and comparing which is liked more: Savannah or the real me. I need your advice please, I know some of you struggle with anonymity too.

Advertisements

6 comments

  1. It is a difficult thing, I guess my problem was almost the reverse, I was already growing in popularity as a blogger as ‘myself’ when I started writing about my mental health, but I very quickly realised the limitations of what I could and could not share as my blog was so personal but not anonymous. I never considered writing a separate anon blog as I had already taken the plunge with sharing my BPD stuff, I couldn’t exactly take it away easily (well yeah physically I could just remove the posts, but it had been read, cached by Google and people ‘knew’, so even removing the posts wouldn’t really help much…). not being anon does restrict me, but I think even if I was anon I would have the same limitations as I would still need to beware of my cyber stalking harasser (his ex) and he often asks me not to write about certain things, and this would not change if I was anon. I hate having to limit what I say, but there are good reasons for it.

    If this blog is really popular and you want to write other things and share them here I think it will be good rather than starting another blog. The variety of things on my blog are one of the reasons I hit 5000 hits per month last month, different things are of interest to different people. So, I would say stick with this one and bring the other stuff here, you know who Savannah is, and certain trusted readers do too – so you get the best of both worlds using the pseudonym, freedom to say things you cannot as ‘you’ but you can still be you, just change other names too. Tbh family and friends rarely read what we write (which maybe why your other blog is not so well read as it is aimed at the but they don’t read it?) At the end of the day the praise and credit is still going to you but if you really want to just be you then write a post about that and ‘out’ yourself here?

    I think I am just making this even more confusing!? lol

    Overall though I would just say, do what feels right. A new blog would time to gather a readership so would just disappoint you for a long time. I just have one blog, I post every day (most of the time) and it can be about everything and anything. If you go ‘public’ here you could always use the ‘password protected’ posting facility to restrict access to any more sensitive/private material!?

    Good luck whatever you decide! 🙂 xx


  2. Thank you. That helped a lot. I wish I could “out” but as I’ve written about family members it is mostly for their privacy. I don’t care if people know about me, the anonymity is for their safety. It’s so tough and I do have private posts but then no one asks for the password! I’m going to have to think about this carefully I know, but at least I know if I write a personal MH blog I can share it with other mentalists easily due to already knowing them! xx


  3. I can totally appreciate what you are getting at. If you read my blog, you’ll know that I’m a professional musician which is such a crucial part of me and is directly affected by my metalism. And yet, perhaps because i started out writing for the madosphere, i get virtually no interest in any posts where i discuss music or my involvement with it.

    The easy conclusion is that my musical life is just not interesting to anyone. But, that’s just not true, and nor is it true that you are uninteresting to anyone either.

    I think it is true that the drama of mental illness has a par with group therapy where initially people jostle for prominance by comparing who has the most trauma, or the most extreme hallucinations, or the highest dose of medication etc.

    What i pick up on with you though is that in this post at least you appear to want to acknowledge a truism that many mental health bloggers ignore: that life is not, and doesn’t have to be “mental” all the time and that we shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that being mentally ill is just a facet of our enormous personalities. We have such a huge capacity to embrace life: so don’t ne defined by mental illness, hang on to your personal blog and plug it in the same way that you do here… Follow wordpress’s guide to getting more traffic as a good start.

    Remember that your nature is not necessarily your nurture.

    Hugs,

    X Clarissa
    http://www.justdifficult.com


  4. My 10 cents…I would not only consider your family but find a means of involving them the decision making process. That being said it is still your decision.


    • They don’t know about my blog and I wouldn’t want them too as I write some unpleasant things about them when discussing my childhood experiences. But I don’t want their identities found out whatever I do.


  5. Savannah,
    I can say that I really understand the internal conflict that you are going through. It says a lot about you and your character that you care so deeply about your family and their protection to choose to be anonymous. However at the same time we all have a desire for acceptance and admiration for the work that we produce and the message that we share with others, I agree with Shannon, that you should include more “personal” stuff here that may or may not be a part of you being “mental”. You are also struggling with separating your identity as an individual other than just being defined by your “illness”. You are NOT defined by your “mental illness” and “issues”. I wrote an article on my blog about this very idea.it is entitled “I’m not sick I have an illness” (http://wp.me/p1WHtn-1S). I look forward to reading more about you, and not just your being “mental”



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: