Too hopeful too soon.

November 24, 2011

As I said in a post recently, my dad’s mental health has improved a lot. However, with everything, something has to go wrong to make me feel awful again.

I know I said my dad was better but he still wasn’t good enough to leave hospital. I could tell from talking to him. He was rational but not well. And then just as the only person who is living near enough and is closely related enough to have a say in his care and what they should and shouldn’t do regarding him when he’s unwell, goes away, they let him out of hospital to go home to my mother. Of course this is the stupidest thing they could have done. With my dad’s sister away for 2 weeks there is no one to support him in his first 2 weeks out of hospital. Sure there’s the crisis team but what have they ever done for anyone. They are useless. They always expected me to sort his meds and make sure he takes them and mum won’t do that. They could have at least waited until my aunt was home so there was someone to be there in an emergency. Last time they let him out early he went straight back in after becoming out of control and dangerous. When will they bloody learn!

He’s still manic and looking for women to sleep with and if he finds them he will bring them to the house. I fear for him and my mother and there’s nothing I can do and nothing I will do. As of the moment I left home, I left behind the responsibilities I had put on me by my parents to look after them. The doctors better sort this out and keep him stable because I know when my aunt comes home she will be horrified.


  1. I’m so sorry to hear that your Dad is not properly better and has been let out of hospital to go home to your Mum. They are useless these psychiatric teams – they just want patients in hospital for unrealistically shorter and shorter times because of cut backs – just like they offer six useless sessions of CBT to people suffering from years of sexual abuse etc. So undermining.

    BUT; I’m really glad to hear you talking about this the way you are now. You are quite right to stick with the attitude that this is not your responsibility anymore. I’m glad that you are taking your own preservation really serious now – and although it is AWFUL to know that this mess is being cooked up unnecessarily in the background of what should be a normal and loving family home for you, I think in the long run, you will only be able to preserve your own sanity and safety if you are well out of it – as much as you can be, seeing as this concerns your parents.

    You are so very strong to keep this stance – and emotionally it is a terribly difficult position to be in because despite all the weirdness you’ve experienced, you still have a very normal desire to be a caring, loving daughter. You wouldn’t see a lot of young women for smoke in the same situation as you have. Don’t lose sight of that – it’s painful to keep that soft side alive; but it’s also the same side of you that makes it possible for you to love and be loved so very much by others.

    I really hope that your aunt kicks off at the impending disaster of discharging your Dad too early and into the wrong environment – I think if it’s anyone’s job to deal with it thought, it has to be the generation above you in the family hierarchy; it isn’t necessary for you to feel that you must be anyone’s saviour or their heroine.

    Take care of yourself.

    X Clarissa X

    • Thank you Clarissa, your comments always make me feel better. I’m sure my aunt will have something to say but I can’t keep fighting their battles because I have my own xx

      • No problem Savannah – I totally agree with you!

        Big hugs,


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