Archive for the ‘Gender’ Category

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Feelings…

June 19, 2010

We all have them, horrible things. Girls already have the inability to control most of their emotions without having to have “disorders” placed upon them. You’d think we have enough emotions to control? Well clearly someone decided to have a little fun with our minds. I’m not saying guys don’t have emotions but we all know who the more hormonal sex are. A lot of the time I wonder if women are classed as depressed because the doctors don’t know how to deal with a crying woman. It was definately the case about 100 years ago. “Hysterical” is what they’d call us women, for crying and then off to the nut house you go, wonderful. Thank goodness they don’t do that to such an extent now or I’m sure a lot of us would be long gone! In America they still love to slap on some kind of mental illness or disorder as soon as possible, my psychiatrist said to me “If you lived in America you would have been trialed on at least 7 different types of anti depressents by now” I’m not sure if he were exagerrating but I don’t find it hard to believe. He has given me no medication at all…and I’m still here. If only I was American I would be drugged up to my eyeballs.

Now back to these feelings…apparently I get them wrong. How is that possible? I don’t have the foggiest but my emotions and feelings can be innapropriate but I just think I’m a very expressive and deep person who isn’t afraid to go a little bit nuts over a tiny thing. I think a lot of people feel certain ways but don’t express it so in a way I believe everyone has innapripriate feelings or emotions sometimes, it’s just those who are willing to say we have them that get labelled with a personality disorder.

Some days I LOVE when I don’t have feelings, I can lie there relaxed and empty looking at the ceiling and thinking “Thank God I can’t feel today.” It’s a nice feeling, kind of like when you take a sleeping tablet and you feel a bit numb and can’t stand up straight. I can understand why they don’t give me benzos, I’d be a nightmare at getting off them.

I haven’t cried in a while, I did today, it was healthy (and appropriate), I think I might be getting the hang of these emotions…nah who am I kidding i’m completely bonkers…but you know what…all the best people are 🙂