You’d think in the world of anonymous blogging it wouldn’t matter what you would write because only a few people really know who you are. Yet I still panic about what I write. In a world of mentalist writing surely you wouldn’t fear as much judgement because hey, everyone is in basically the same boat. But the thing I struggle with most is writing about my girly side with fear of being called stupid. It’s hard to feel beautiful nowadays with the ideal of also being smart. If a girl is beautiful or likes things like painting her nails or shoes she is generally stereotyped as being brainless and fake. When a girl says she loves shoes you probably picture a skinny, blonde girl with a chihuahua in a bag and this needs to stop. I end up judging myself. I feel nervous If I look too nice in case people think I’m stupid or a slut. If you don’t wear enough clothes, you’re a whore. If you cover everything up, you’re unattractive and won’t put out. Woman can’t do anything these days without being degraded. Smart woman are a threat and no way attractive because they could become more powerful than a man and they don’t want that. It’s so hard because it’s not just men doing the judging, it’s women too. For example, I was watching My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding and the girls don’t wear much when they go out and my mother looked at them disgusted and said they were sluts. These girls get married young and only sleep with one man their whole lives yet just by what they are wearing we feel the right to call them sluts, which I thought meant sleeping around with loads of men with no intention to commit (I’m not saying that anyone who does that is a slut but that is what the definition of that term is). Or am I missing something?
I am intelligent. Really. I got an A*, 2 A’s and 7 B’s at GCSE level and only left school due to mental health problems. I love learning, I love reading books and I am facsinated by people.
I feel like I need to go to some kind of rehab group and tell my deep dark secrets.
My name is Savannah, I’m smart and I like watching Toddlers and Tiaras.
Now smart girls shouldn’t watch “mindless girly drivel”, how dare they try and confuse us. Maybe they’re lying to us and trying to pretend they’re smart. I mean anyone who enjoys watching little girls turned into little whores would be stupid. This is the kind of judgment I fear. I see a lot of hatred towards some of the TV programmes I watch and people say how stupid the person is who watches it. Surely people can just judge the programme without demonising their viewers too.
I’m going to give you a few examples of programme I watch and why I enjoy them.
Toddlers and Tiaras- As a little girl I would have given the world to have felt beautiful when I was being slapped and told how undesirable I was. To see little girls feeling beautiful makes me happy for them. Yes, I know this is extreme and the wrong way to do it but for the girls who enjoy it, I think they should be allowed to do so. I disagree with the forcing of children into it which you do see as well. But it’s just the fact that in a way they are living my dream as a little girl (psychologically). I have many arguments against pageants, as anyone does but then when I’m watching it I’m in a very child-like mindset, enjoying the sparkles and the pretty things.
Don’t tell the Bride- I love this show mainly because woman always have this huge idea of their ideal wedding and think they are the only ones who do it perfect and in the end, the husband (usually) gets it right and it makes them realise that as long as they are getting married, it doesn’t matter if the dress is big or the flowers are sparkling, marrying the person they love is what makes the day perfect. Plus it can be funny seeing how useless men are at clothes shopping 😉
The X factor- Like toddlers and tiaras, it’s like watching other people live your dreams. I would love to sing for a living. Yes, some of them are really awful but once it gets near the end and you’re left with the people who really want it, then it becomes more watchable. Everyone has dreams and I get very emotional when someone gets through and their whole life is suddenly turned upside down for the better. It can be very harsh to people but I just try and focus on trying to make my favorite act’s dream come true.
My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding- I loved this show. There aren’t many traditional people nowadays and I think tradition can be a good thing. It’s what generally holds a community together. A lot of people disliked the fact that the girls were married so young and weren’t allowed to do much with their lives, yet there was a girl who got herself a job willingly and the others could if they wanted but they choose it themselves. If they didn’t want to marry young, I’m sure they wouldn’t so why say they shouldn’t be pushed into it? You see the girls so excited about getting married and having their dress made and starting a life with their husband. If they were sitting there crying saying they didn’t want to get married then you can complain but i don’t think it’s right to try and make people choose what you think is right against what they want. I loved the show and their amazing over extravagant dresses and I hope they will be happy. People focus so much on what would make them happy they forget that everyone is different. I loved learning about a new culture and seeing how different they are.
Now I’ll give you an overall reason why I watch what I would call “trash TV” due to it’s views by smart people. I am facinated by human beings. I like TV about real people, in real life situations, especially the out of the ordinary. I watch these programmes because I find it fascinating how different people can be from different cultures and backgrounds. I watch stupid TV for smart reasons. I’m sure psychologists all love some reality programmes because they get to see how people behave in given situations. Humanity is amazing and usually the shows about people on TV are those who have very extreme lives in comparison to our norms and that’s what makes it so gripping. We are naturally drawn to things we don’t quite get or haven’t seen before and it does scare us but then we want to know more. About a month ago, I watched a programme called “LadyBoys” and I know a good few people who would think I was disgusting for watching it but then It shows how closed minded that person probably is. It wasn’t anything sexual or pornographic, it was simply about men from different cultures who felt they were in the wrong bodies and had sex changes. I think it’s wonderful to see people becoming who they are with no shame and no fear. It’s liberating yet so difficult. I watched that TV show because I wanted to understand how they felt so that I has a better understanding of transexuals because Ignorance is never useful. I may not know any transexuals but If I met someone who was transexual seeing a programme like that would make me less likely to be confused and scared at how to react towards them. Knowledge is power but knowledge can also be acceptance.
One last thing is accepting yourself. The fact that I feel ashamed to watch these programmes shows that I potentially feel the same way as those who judge the viewers of the above. Or I just know how others may feel if they knew so I feel like I’m not allowed to be anything other than what they want. Whatever it is I am trying to be less judgemental.
I am a female, I like videos games, reading books and blogging. But I also like painting my nails, watching wedding programmes and love things that sparkle. I don’t like politics and I’m not into Science. And I am still smart.