My therapist said to me that we get our identity from our parents but although this may be true is it really always a good idea to mold ourselves on our parents or for our parents expect us to be what they want?
I know people who are being exactly what their parents want and who are having almost similar lives to how their parents did when they were their age. Is this a good thing? I don’t think so. It’s like they are reliving their parents former lives and if this continues down the line then where is the variety in lifestyle the different personalities and the change in family values. It seems dull to me. I think the most important family member is the one who chooses to say no to their parents beliefs and values and build their own. People like this experience more and can explore their own indentities further than someone who has chosen to stick to someone elses identity. You probably imagine someone becoming rebellious from a good valued family but I belive it’s healthy either way. To see outside of the family bubble. To create your own indentity sepearate to what you have grown up to become is a feel, the most important thing you can do in life. You can then achieve what you really want without it being what other people may expect from you. It requires a lot of strength too and I think a hell of a lot of open mindedness and creativity to be your own person. Obviously there is no harm is being your parents child and taking on parts of their values but when you take on everything blindly and without questioning just because they’re your parents then I don’t believe you are really fulfilling your own potential. My parents own views on life are so different that I had no choice but to create my own identity but without that secure similarity beteen that it did create identity disturbance so there is a need for some parental similarities in values to help your own identity. I do enjoy being able to make myself in anything I want though because of there being no similarity in views between my parents, I can be anything because I don’t really have set ideas on what I should be. It is bloody hard to know what to be when there is unlimited options but I think I will find it one day.
My Dad: open minded, sociable, he has no religion and isn’t interested in politics, he is extremely intelligent (a mathematician and scientist of sorts), he has problems with anger and likes going to the pub and watch football.
My Mum: Closed minded, she has a religion but doesn’t really understand it, she is anti social and attention seeking and doesn’t know what politics is, she has BPD traits and believes in honesty and believes that when people do bad things they are bad people. She has an unhealthy obsession with a celebrity and is easily bullied and called a stalker at times.
Me: I believe that there is a creator though of what form I feel isn’t important. I overanalyse anything in a philosophical context. I want to be a writer and I enjoy being a mental health advocate. I have BPD. I am very openminded and due to this feel I cannot be tied down by set beliefs anymore. I don’t drink alcohol because I dislike the taste and like to be in control of my actions. I can be a bit of a guy sometimes but I like to be look feminine at all times. I like films that are gory and a little sadistic and mess with your head.
I reckon I am an independent thinker and quite proud of that but don’t worry by tomorrow my indentity will be different.